I was in 3rd grade when I started to pack my own lunches based on the food pyramid we learned in school. This was the first time I decided there was a “right” or “wrong” way to eat.

Fast forward to middle school, girls started to go through puberty and I began comparing my changing body to my classmates. I was a competitive soccer player and was very self-conscious of my food choices and physical appearance. In high school, I experienced weight gain related simply to growing older and being an active athlete. I became very into health and nutrition, so much so that I decided to shadow a registered dietitian and study it as my major in college.

Once I went off to college, I was stuck in the binge-restrict cycle. I noticed my clothes fitting tighter and felt even more self-conscious in my own skin. I was no longer a competitive athlete, but I was constantly comparing my body to other young women’s. My body image was at an all-time low.

Sophomore year of college, I lived in a sorority house and my friends knew that I was studying to become a registered dietitian. I decided it was time to “walk the talk” as “the healthy friend.” What started as an innocent attempt to lose some of the weight I had gained freshman year became a dangerous obsession with clean eating, restricting food groups, and over-exercising. I was in school to learn how to help others eat healthily, but my own obsession with being “healthy” (which was actually about changing my body) was truly unhealthy.

In my senior year, Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size (HAES) were introduced in one of my classes. This caused me to remember my unopened copy of Intuitive Eating, a book gifted to me by the registered dietitian I had shadowed in high school. When I read Intuitive Eating, it all clicked for me. I recognized there is a better way to live life. I stopped tracking calories and exercising obsessively. Over time, I reintroduced formerly off-limit foods, ditched the scale, and began to trust my body again. I applied what I learned in nutrition school to balance my plate and settle at my happy balanced weight.

Now, I’m finally able to enjoy food without restrictions and diet rules. Social events, dining out and food-filled holidays are no longer anxiety-inducing. As a registered dietitian, ironically, I think about food less than I ever have before. I’ve healed my relationship with food, exercise, and body image. This is my “why” for helping other women do the same. You deserve to feel food and body freedom so you can live your life with a greater purpose.